Filed under: Uncategorized
Picture the scene. I race into my local Major Brand Food Supermarket 5 minutes before closing. Hastily grab a bag of, what I believe are Chocolate Raisins and hand them to the despondent cashier. The stupid bitch couldn’t operate a till to save her life, she needs to take a few leaves out of my book methinks, she dropped my change ALL OVER the fucking floor; I didn’t care though :- I was about to indulge in one of my all-time favorite confections. The Chocolate Raisin.
I got home, tore open the bag and greedily shoveled a handful into my, now watering mouth…
No.
Please; No?! Chocolate Peanuts… Peanuts. WHAT THE FUCK. Disappointment has never hit so hard. I spat them out in disgust and sulked for literally minutes.
This is my life.
I hate Christmas shopping. I like Christmas; but the necessity for presents irritates me. Not only deciding what other people want, often people I barely know, but having to tell people what I want.
If I want something; I buy it, therefore, everything I need, I own, everything I want – I own (within reason). So the majority of my Christmas presents are useless to me, and sit at the bottom of my wardrobe until I feel enough time has passed that I don’t feel bad throwing them away.
Christmas shopping is hideous.I ventured into Birmingham yesterday, beaten and battered in Debenhams by frantic women banging each other in the shins with bags of various festive shite. The irony of it all soon made me feel ill; ill to the point where i wanted to lie on the floor and demand someone fish out the various items I’d outlined on a hastily drawn up list.
“Mom – Somekind of book/Perfume”
“Brother – Alcohol”
I decided to forget it and buy myself an overpriced coat. I’ll try again next week.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: jimmy0010 youtube article cynical small minded views on
Right. Hello. “Jimmy, why the fuck are you creating a written blog? thats SO 2004.”
Its nice to write. Like, properly write; it makes my otherwise incoherent rambles slightly more reasonable when in the form of text, and there’s something incredibly satisfactory in gazing over a nice meaty block of writing you’ve just created. Im going to really have a good go at it aswell. I’ve started this kind of thing before, only to become disheartened; nonchalantly banging away at the keys, producing little more than pointless shit. Well-written pointless shit, but pointless shit all the same; and while I can’t promise this’ll be anything but shit, I’ll try to introduce at least some point. Alas, however, already this first attempt has lost any point, so it looks like it’l just have to be pointless shit, but if you’re satisifed with my YouTube videos, this should suit you just fine. At least it’ll be consistently mediocre.
By doing this I feel like I’m doing work. Even though I have piles of important proper work to do, as writing this involves a word-processing program, in my mind it is therefore classed as work, and any important stuff can be kept on hold due to all work holding equal standing. There’s my reasoning, and, ergo I am now a blogger.
I hate bloggers. The majority are boring arses who deem themselves pretentious enough to write page-long essays on their mundane and uninteresting lives. My life is quite the opposite, filled with exciting frolics, and flights of fancy. These ‘blogs’ therefore will be referred to only as ‘articles’, lectures if you will, spouting my cynical and small-minded views on the inter-webs for your intellectual pleasure. Hah, what’s pretentious about that?
